


Enough Lies

by Detavot



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Gen, I love our green witch so much, Manga & Anime, she's the person who'd see right through o!ciel's pathetic lies if given enough time, they should spend more time together (along with soma)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-12 18:55:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17473100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Detavot/pseuds/Detavot
Summary: She had had enough with the masks he hid behind.





	Enough Lies

**Author's Note:**

> Kind of a friendly and/or crush thing going on? I don't know, to be honest, so interpret it as you see fit skskks

    There had always been something off about Ciel Phantomhive.

    Sieglinde was no fool. She had been wary but so curious when she had first seen these strange people from the outside world. How had they travelled through the forest unscathed? Why exactly had they come here? Who was this mysterious boy the rest of the group called to as a ‘Lord’?

    At first, she thought he was a Warlock. She had never seen Warlocks before but she had read about them in her books--men who were born with magic, the male counterpart to witches. Perhaps the Warlock was the lord of a village closeby. It had been the most plausible explanation at the time, if she tried to exclude the glaringly obvious fact that the boy did not to know her language. Perhaps languages differed from village to village, though she could not assume such a thing. She had tried asking the butler named Sebastian and Wolfram about it but received only careful avoidance from both.

    “ _He might just be rejecting adults in general_ ,” Sebastian had murmured once. Then he had carefully avoided explaining this strange phrase. Sieglinde held onto it, though, and thought about it over and over again. What exactly could he have been through to be so panicked? And what did adults have to do with anything?

    When Ciel led her to the basement and showed her the truth, she couldn't help but feel that she was still not any closer to finding out about his goals or his personality. He was cold and cutthroat, he was kind and forgiving, he was manipulative and a liar, he was truthful and helpful, he was injured and broken. He cycled through an array of personalities constantly without a pattern. He chose his words carefully most of the time, confused her, and then he would unwillingly let much more confusing things slip past his lips.

    Did he want to control he or did he want to help her? Did he want to leave her alone or did he want to keep her company? It seemed like even he didn't know what he wanted to do, and that confused her more than any other question she asked herself about Ciel.

    What exactly did his job entail? What had happened to his parents?

    Why was he the way he was?

    She began observing him and his movements much like she would observe the formula of her mixtures. How he was easily irritated and flustered one minute and devoid of any emotion the other, how he always kept his distance and yet seemed miserable when others did the same. Forever a paradox, in a perpetual state of starvation and yet not feeling the need to eat.

    The butler followed him much like a shadow would. He seemed to encourage this harmful path the boy had chosen to follow.

    Sieglinde knew something was off. There was something she wasn't seeing, something she _should_ be aware of but _wasn't_. It was like a little lack of information that tickled her brain and made her uncomfortable, that made her aware of just how much of the bigger picture she wasn't seeing. She couldn't know whatever was going on in Ciel’s head without knowing whatever was going on outside it. If making the SuLin gas had been hard, this would undoubtedly be hell for her. But she had already accepted the challenge Ciel’s very existence posed and she was far too sore of a loser to admit defeat.

    This was supposed to be a game, an experiment for her. A way to pass the time, as Ciel would say. But it had turned into something more. She had gotten attached to him.

    His eye would lose its spark whenever people mentioned specific words. Sometimes, he’d smile for no apparent reason in the middle of his sentences. She had memorized the words and the types of conversations that would lead to these changes.

    He didn't like seeing blood anywhere in the manor. She had figured this little detail out when Mey-Rin had cut her hands on the mess of broken dishes she had created and Ciel had gone rigid as soon as he had seen the blood. He had just… stood frozen on the spot, his eye never leaving Mey-Rin’s bloody hands and breathing erratically. Sieglinde was immediately forced to leave by Sebastian, and didn't get to see or hear what had happened after or why Ciel had reacted that way.

    “You’ve been watching me,” Ciel stated one day. They were in the garden upon her insistence for tea.

    “Yes,” Sieglinde replied. She felt no shame nor hesitation. Ciel already knew of her habits and her curiosity. There was no sense in being embarrassed by anything.

    “Why?” And that, at the end of the day, was the truest question, was it not? Why was Sieglinde so fixated upon knowing more about him? She could have easily left this matter alone. Let Ciel be the way he was; let him destroy himself with whatever demons he had, live the way he knew how. She had her own work to do as Her Majesty’s personal chemist. Ciel would never seek her out or question her if she decided to leave right now and right here.

    And perhaps that was the reason why she still remained.

    “You are used to being alone.” It was not an assumption, it was a fact. Ciel said nothing, so she continued. “I have been noticing that you are keeping your distance from people, and even actively pushing some of them away. At first I thought that it was because you had to keep up an appearance, pushing your servants away and trying to show your place… Then I thought it was because you did not want to become friends with us. But that was not it either. You are doing this to everyone. Noble or common, family or not.”

    “Let us assume that your observations are correct,” Ciel said. His voice had a belittling tone to it, but Sieglinde was far past the point of being baited by his petty games. “That still does not answer my question of why you are doing any of this.”

    “You are in a deep, dark grave without an escape.” Through logical observations, Ciel’s actions made no sense. But if someone were to add feelings into it, the mystery became much easier to solve. “I can see it in your eyes, Ciel. You are injured, broken, just barely alive. You are lying in a coffin just waiting for someone to bury you and be _done with it_.” She looked at the eyepatch he wore. The eyepatch that hid the symbol of the devil on his blue eye, a scar that he was ashamed to have. “That is why you push us away. You don't wish for us to see this and help you, you just want to die alone and unloved--just as you always have been in life.” Two could play the baiting game.

    Ciel’s eye was cold. “That is a nice story you have made. It could make any news reporter a fortune if you were to share it as an exposé, or perhaps move the nation into tears.” The reluctant warmth or indifference in his voice was gone, leaving only a hollow hatred.

    “As if anyone would cry for a _hypocrite_. You told me suicide was a cowardly action and yet you seem to have no problem doing it yourself, albeit slowly.”

    “You know nothing about me, so don't you _dare_ jump into any conclusions and judge me.” Ciel’s voice had gone quiet. He was angry. Good. She had been angry at him for a long time.

    “Then tell me the truth! Go ahead, look into my eyes, and make me understand how much I misunderstood you! Look into my eyes and tell me everything I have said is wrong! But you will do just that, won't you? Because you’re just too much of a good liar. How many times have you looked into our eyes and just uttered lies upon lies?” Sieglinde breathed in but did not avert her eyes from his. “You are no better than the adults you so despise.”

    She could still remember the hatred in his eyes when he had looked upon the liars in her village. _Children are not their parents’ toys,_ he had shouted.

    “Get out.” His voice shook. “Get out of here right now.” He was looking at her with his eye wide. His hands were shaking.

    “No.” Sieglinde knew he needed to be told these things. Ciel said nothing. He stood up and exited the greenhouse silently. Sieglinde stayed the night, but the two did not talk for the rest of the day.

    The next morning, she woke up to see that she was in her own home. Most likely Sebastian's handiwork. She groaned and rubbed her eyes as she searched for the clock. Quarter to five in the morning, fifteen minutes earlier than when Wolfram would wake her up. Beside the clock was a file she knew she did not possess. She skimmed the pages. A police report. She looked at the date that was written on its cover.

 

_ 12/14/1885 _


End file.
